Thoughts of a Crazy, Old Man

lentSo, I’m contemplating giving up NOT writing for Lent.  I confess, I don’t really get Lent.  I was brought up Baptist (Southern, then Independent Fundamentalist).  I’m from New Orleans.  If you know much about those three variables, you know that Catholic (Roman Catholic) and anything associated with that religion was from the deepest pit of hell and nothing could possibly redeem it.  That’s how I grew up, and that’s a difficult barrier for anything to overcome and Lent is no exception.  So while I’m not really that familiar with the concepts and the whys of Lent, I do indeed get the whole “giving up” thing.

Why do I NOT write?  There’s a lot of reasons.  First, I sincerely believe that most people could probably care less what I have to say.  I feel like I have valuable input and that it is worth hearing, but I have no delusions of grandeur making me think that anyone really cares.  Or, for that matter, that my thoughts are more than valuable to me.  I guess they are.  I think they are.  But at the same time, I don’t blame anyone for not listening to them.  I’m just another warm body with a blog.  And if anything has been taught to me over the past several years, it is the simple truth that you need neither content nor value, neither truth nor intelligence to actually write a blog.  Hah, you don’t need intelligence… maybe I’m overqualified then with my absence of intelligence.

Another reason I don’t write is simply that I am afraid of putting myself out there.  I don’t mind a good debate, but I hate arguing.  Keeping people on point and keeping the signal-to-noise ratio at a legitimate level is WAY more taxing than it sounds.  People want to argue, not debate.  Actually, most people want someone to agree with them and validate their opinion.  Even the stupid people with pathetic, stupid opinions.  No, especially! the stupid people with pathetic, stupid opinions.  It is frustrating to debate when everyone else is arguing.  (If you don’t know the difference, the best summary is that debate is about getting after truth and fact, while arguing is about emotion and feeling.  You debate to challenge illogical thinking and come to a more accurate conclusion about a topic.  You argue to simply prove you are right and someone else is wrong.)

So, hiding is why I’m contemplating giving up NOT writing for Lent.  It both requires discipline and exposure to simply write my thoughts on a given day.  I think that’s part of what Lent is about (but again, I’m not sure).  I do know that Lent is more than just a Catholic thing, and I get that it isn’t a “work” in order to save us.  So maybe I’ll try this.  Of course, if I don’t succeed, it will be obvious to everyone who reads that I’ve failed.  That’s OK.  I’m far from perfect and if I do fail at this, maybe it will server to illustrate that to anyone naive enough to have the wrong impressions of me.

Although it is probably a good bit of hubris involved.  Can you write a blog without a better than average portion of hubris in your life?  I doubt it.  But maybe, if you stick around, I’ll touch on something that is interesting to you and helps you grow.  Maybe you will find it a tedious waste of time.  Maybe it is.  I offer no promises and I expect no commitments.  But here I am, and I’m going to try to simply write my thoughts about whatever is on my mind daily for the next 40 days.  We’ll see where we end up.

~ CC

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