Forgotten, Ignored, or Alone

This will be the fourth post that no one has read.  If, that is, no one actually reads it.  Again today, unless my site statistics are lying to me, I have not had any visitors.  This is an interesting experience.  In some ways, as my posting is related to Lent, it seems almost appropriate to not have anyone reading what I’m writing.  It definitely gives me more perspective on my life and where I fit into those around me.  Again, I do not mean to guilt anyone who may read this, whether in the near or distant future.  I am who I am and you are who you are.  It is not my intention to imbue guilt onto anyone, so please do not take it that way.

The issue I had at work yesterday is still unresolved.  My boss was sick, so I could not report to him that I still haven’t heard from the co-worker in the other facility about how to address this issue.  I had an issue arise this morning after I got to work and asked the guy in the cube next to me.  He was much, much more helpful and I got the issue resolved and learned a thing or two while we were fixing the problem.

My family has been on Spring Break this week.  It makes it more difficult to work when I know my family is at home and I’m still here at work.  Normally, with school, my kids aren’t getting home until around 4:00pm.  Even though my wife’s classes are done earlier, it is somewhat easier to not be distracted at work knowing that my family is doing their thing.  This week, knowing they are hanging around the house and community makes it much more difficult to stay focused at work.  Were I not on call, I probably would have taken the week off, or at least part of it, to spend with them.

There is an unusual feeling I have without having had a reader all week.  It rivals the feeling of anonymity I have had in the past when I wrote under a pseudonym and no one knew who I was.  It is a feeling that is almost a freedom to say whatever I want about anything.  With anonymity comes that freedom, and without readers, the experience is very similar.  But!  But, someone may actually come to read this blog and there is no real anonymity here.  Most everyone who knows this blog also knows me personally (whether actually in person or just on Facebook, I’m still known).  That puts up a certain blockade to the potential freedom I would have otherwise felt.

So, what would I say were I anonymous?  What would I put in my blog if I had the nearly complete freedom that anonymity grants?  Wow.  Part of me wants to gush all those answers out and say exactly what I would say.  To, if you will, relish in that freedom.  But another part of me knows that is probably not a good idea.  Sure, I’d love to speak the truth about a lot of things, but experience has taught me that most people are looking more for validation than they are looking for the truth.  I mean, isn’t that where I am, too?  Isn’t that at least part of why I am writing a blog that shares at least some of my open thoughts on things?  I think it is.  I want validation or acceptance or respect or something.  Don’t we all?  I suppose if I can’t have it for myself, I can continue to provide it for others.

~CC

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One Response to “Forgotten, Ignored, or Alone”

  1. PBW Says:

    FYI-I am catching up on my reading today, or at least working on it, so don’t think you are invisible.


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